Star Wars: The Revenge of Bush

Everyone’s favorite evil lord of the galaxy and his twisted, half-mechanical henchman are back. No, I don’t mean the Emperor and Darth Vader. I’m talking about George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. And it seems that they too have laser powered shoot-outs and weird-looking aliens (oh, that’s just Dick Cheney) on their minds. Yes, Star Wars is back! The updated United States’ Space Policy came out today and the militarization of space is on the agenda.

Space weapons have been forsworn by all American presidents, save Ronald Reagan whose infamously elaborate and ultimately unworkable space-based laser system earned the nickname “Star Wars”. But the Gipper’s dream of being able to zap enemy combatants in space is alive again thanks to Bush and Rumsfeld. The final hurdle was cleared when the U.S. backed out of the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty in 2001. Under that agreement, the U.S. and Russia both declared that space would be, in effect, a demilitarized zone free of any weaponry. Today, however, top military brass were averring America’s “freedom to attack” beyond the limits of Earth’s atmosphere as a major tenet of our new space policy. Foreign satellites would presumably be the main targets of a space-based weapon although it’s hard to tell who or what may be in the crosshairs of a trigger-happy Bush administration.

So if you can’t make it out to the theatre to catch the new Star Wars movie this summer, just keep your eyes on the sky. There may be a real life Death Star coming soon to an orbit near you.