Mukhtaran Bibi - A True Survivor

Mukhtaran Bibi, a Pakistani woman, was scheduled to attend an Asian American Network Against Abuse of Women conference in the U.S later this month. Ms. Bibi’s courageous story begins in a rural village in Pakistan where her brother was found guilty of sodomy. To punish her brother for this, while inhumane and backwards, wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows since most Americans have heard such stories of moral ultra-conservatism from backwater countries like Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, and Alabama. But the village’s tribal council decided to punish her brother by sentencing Ms. Bibi to be gang-raped by eight men. Ms. Bibi somehow managed to overcome this trauma, meted out by her own government, and went to on to work for female empowerment by founding schools for girls and helping other rape victims. Upon hearing her intentions to leave the country to attend the U.S. convention, the Pakistani government put her on house arrest. She is now a prisoner in Pakistan because she chose to speak out about her country’s injustices. At the next tribal council, the U.S. needs to vote Pakistan out of its “alliance of the willing”. Its abhorrent record on human rights and its dictator “president” are too much to justify a continued American relationship.

Phillip Coonskin Leaves Bush Administration

Phillip A. Coonskin . . . what, it's Cooney? Oh, shit.

Last year's stirring Hollywood drama, "The Day after Tomorrow", gave us a glimpse into the world's future. Instead of filling our minds with silly ideas like auto emissions, industrial pollution, and global warming, we should be focusing our attention on the impending Ice Age. Fortunately, the American government realized this years ago and has been protecting our fragile planet by shunning international accords such as the Kyoto Protocol on climate change and relegating the concept of global warming to "junk science" status. One of the crafters of this masterful bit of logic was Phillip A. Cooney, a former science policy official of the Bush administration. Now don't misunderstand, he is no scientist nor does he have any scientific background at all. He merely made important scientific decisions as a part of his job. Having previously served as a lobbyist for the American Petroleum Institute, Mr. Cooney was brought on board the Bush team to set the record straight about global warming. As a science policy wonk, it was his responsibility to soften the language used in government reports. Here is an example:

Pre-Cooney statement: "Greenhouse gasses, such as carbon monoxide, have a negative effect on the environment and contribute to global warming."

Post-Cooney "revised" statement: "I am not a scientist but George Bush lets me pretend that I am."

After a successful stint in the field of science policy-making, Mr. Cooney has decided to move on. While our nation will miss his remarkable insights into climate change and the future of Earth, we must somehow struggle on. Mr. Cooney will lend his talents to Exxon-Mobil, a force for environmental good in the world, where he has found a new job. Maybe, just maybe, we can churn out enough noxious gases to keep our planet warm enough to stave off the next Ice Age. Good luck, Mr. Cooney, and God bless you.

Hardcore

Who put my towel in the sink?
Don’t call me Sally and
think of happier times.
Open the can – Flash Man!
Wear a shawl or wear a robe,
It’s all so old and tacky.

Dude, Check Out My Robe!

I made it myself.

Thanks to Devo for posting an excellent comment to the previous post concerning the Supreme Court’s medicinal marijuana decision. The case was unusually interesting not only because of its ramifications for American drug laws, but also due to the unique blending of two traditionally opposite political positions: liberal leaning social laws and the more conservative states’ rights stance. For a justice of the Court to vote either way on this case, he or she would have had to reconcile the apparent paradox of supporting both of these polar positions simultaneously. To uphold the federal ban against the medical use of dope, one would be supporting the right of the U.S. government to shoot down any individual state’s own police laws while at the same time thrashing the prospect of reforming the country’s drug laws. Chief Justice William Renquist, for example, voted against the ban. One of the Court’s most conservative members, he could be counted on to stand up for the states’ right to make their own legislation. But he is not known for his bleeding heart on social issues. Interestingly, however, Renquist has cancer, a disease whose symptoms can be successfully treated with medicinal marijuana, according to its proponents. So perhaps our Chief Justice actually was in a win-win situation; uphold states’ rights and keep weed available to those who need its pain-relieving qualities, i.e. himself. Far be it from me to suggest that Renquist partakes in illegal substances, but come on, the guy designed his own justice robe, complete with cool racing stripes. He must have been smoking something.

U.S. Supreme Court Deals "Blow" to Medicinal Marijuana

Doesn't the Supreme Court feel this man's pain?

The Supreme Court voted 6-3 today to uphold the federal ban on the medical use of marijuana. This means that sick people in any of the eleven states that have passed laws allowing the use of some form of medicinal marijuana can now be arrested and thrown in the slammer. In essense, the decision reinforced the ability of federal laws to trump state ones. This has been the case since the nation's founding but certain powers have always been reserved for the states, as Justice Sandra Day O'Connor pointed out in her dissent: "The states' core police powers have always included authority to define criminal law and to protect the health, safety, and welfare of their citizens." This argument holds no weight with the Court's more conservative members who beleive that since the drug is classified by the government as an intoxicant with no medicinal value, the ban cannot be removed. Strangely enough, people still use alcohol to drown their pain and you don't even need a prescription.

Ironically, the United States government made marijuana illegal in the first place at the bidding of several western governors as an excuse to deport Mexican immigrants. A few Mexicans were probably seen puffing a joint, their entire race was then stereotyped as lazy bums, and they were sent packing. Their plan may have had a few flaws seeing that today Hispanics are the largest minority group in the country, having overtaken blacks. Whatever government offical ever decided to use drug laws as immigration policy must have been nuts. Or maybe he just knew some Mexican guy who hooked him up with some good smoke.

Say That Again?

On the CBS news broadcast last night, they aired a short segment about the outcome of the Dutch referendum on the European constitution. More of a mention than an actual report, it simply noted that voters soundly defeated the proposed constitutional treaty. The amusing thing is that John Roberts, the guy who was filling in for Bob Schieffer, misprounouced the Dutch word for "no". He said something like, "Dutch voters said 'nee' to the EU constitution." The word 'nee' is pronounced 'nay' but he said 'knee'. I'm sure not many viewers noticed. But my wife, being Dutch, certainly did. It's all I heard about for the rest of the night. With all of the hassle she has been getting from the immigration department over the past year, she is getting pretty pissed off at the way this country operates and I don't blame her. But if news media feel the need to chuck foreign words into a report, the least they could do is to get someone to check on the pronunciation first.

Global Watchdog, Part II

As if the United States didn't have enough on its plate, with the Iraq war, Afghanistan, the EU constitution vote in France and the Netherlands, and Paris Hilton getting engaged to a Greek dude also called Paris, another matter came up last week which required immediate American intervention: a Mideast-South American summit. I know that geography is not President Bush's strong point but I bet that even he knows that his country is in neither of these areas. Nevertheless, his administration insisted on sending a representative to the summit which was designed to encourage trade and empower developing countries. God forbid that countries try to take peaceful, non-aggressive steps to improve themselves without the approval and oversight of the U.S. Fortunately, Brazil, the summit's host, refused this request. I'm sure that won't earn them any points with the U.S. for their bid for a permanent seat on the UN's Security Council, but I bet it felt great to tell Bush's henchmen where to stick it.

Global Watchdog, Part I

In a stunning turn of events, France, once one of the loudest voices for ever-closer European union, soundly defeated a referendum to adopt a continent-wide constitution. Pundits blame several factors for the French about-face: a disconnect between the citizenry and the E.U. government, a chance to stick it to President Jacques Chirac who supported the treaty, or simply an all-too-French need to reestablish their national identity. But maybe the biggest issue that led to the constitution’s downfall was the French’s fear of the eventual accession of Turkey to the European Union. Muslims already make up a large segment of French society but the notion of admitting a huge Islamic country into their all-Christian club has many Frenchmen wringing their berets. The Turkey question divides Europe, with prominent politicians leading the charge for and against its membership. But one country believes that it should have the biggest say in the matter; the United States, who else?

The last time I checked, the U.S. was not a member of the European Union, or even much of a fan of it. Yet for some reason, it seems to know best about who the EU should and should not admit to its association. American officials have been making a habit of dropping not-so-subtle hints on the matter when in Europe and the Europeans are getting pretty pissed off. It would be like Tony Blair telling Bush, “Hey W, you should really let Haiti become a state, I think it would be a good idea.” America has its geopolitical reasons for wanting Muslim Turkey to join a western, democratic organization, and frankly it is right. But to go around sticking its nose where it has no business is just another demonstration of its arrogance. I have a great idea. If the U.S. wants to reward Turkey with membership in a free, pro-West association, let IT become the 51^st state. When faced with all the possible negative situations that could arises from such a union, I bet the Americans would become even more anti-Turkish than the French voters. And the sad irony is that for all bending over backwards that the Turks have gone through to reach their goal of EU membership, they would snap back to rigidity if presented with such an offer. “No thanks, we’re cool here in Asia.”