Another season of "American Idol" has wrapped up and the most talented, beautiful, and adored vocalist in the country has . . . oh who really cares? Well apparently about 500,000,000 Americans do. That's how many votes were cast by TV viewers this season to select their favorites. Yes, that figure is nearly double the population of the U.S. but unlike a truly fair and democratic system, like the American government's electoral system (disregarding voter intimidation, voter challenges, faulty polling equipment, disenfranchisement, etc., etc.), "American Idol" allows multiple votes from a single individual. Now compare this figure to the number of voters in last year's presidential election where about half of the nation's registered voters turned out to pop their chad. Roughly four times as many votes were cast to elect a pop singer than the leader of the free world, and I use that term loosely.
There are two main points to make here. First, Americans are entirely too enthralled with sitting on their asses in front of a television screen. And secondly, voter apathy and a general disinterest in politics continue to grow, despite a slightly higher voter turnout in last year's election from 2000's level. So how can we solve these problems? I say we accept the fact that Americans are fat and lazy. We have reached the point of no return so don't waste your time trying to fix it. Instead, let's allow people to vote in presidential elections from the comfort of their own home, just like on "American Idol". Press 1 for Hillary Clinton, 2 for Condi Rice, or 3 for Paula Abdul. After the votes have been tallied, the winner will perform a live solo and get a multi-million dollar record deal. Having a president who is also a pop star will keep the young people of America interested in politics and may even help to thaw the world’s opinion of us because everyone knows that foreigners love crappy American pop music. So In 2008 let’s experience record voter turnout while keeping the masses' hearts entertained and their minds numbed with the soft glow of the TV.
5 Comments:
What a sad state of affairs that people are more diligent in voting for their favourite singer than who they want to run the country.
Then again, my comment holds no validity since I'm an Aussie. ;)
Steve, if you've watched that bloody new Star Wars movie more than once, then you've seen it too much.
Ah, American Idol, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...
The American public continues to blow my mind with its contrived and self-imposed idiocy. It's fine to have a stupid show where contestats sing karaoke for money, but the fact that the standings were major headlines in national newspapers just chafes me.
America - keep your pop culture garbage out of my relevant current affairs.
I think we should make a reality TV show called "Beating Each Other in the Face with Shovels." In each episode, contestants are each given a shovel, and it's their job to slap each other in the face with them.
The winner is the contestant who figures out that the one who really needs to be smashed in the face with a shovel is the show's producer, who could be someone like Jerry Bruckheimer.
In a stunning turn of events, in the season finale, this is exactly what happens, and the remaining contestants figure out that they have all the equipment they need to dig a shallow grave for the guy right in their hands.
And as an added bonus, Jerry Bruckheimer gets to pay for his crimes (such as Armageddon and producing Pearl Harbor) and never get behind into a director's chair again.
I heard that in Russia there is a reality show where they outfit a car with a GPS chip and give the contestant one hour to try and evade the police and if they can they get to keep the car. Now that's entertainment.
In the future all TV will be like the Arnold Schwartzenegger movie "The Running Man." That movie is the best. Richard Dawson was the man.
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